Stages of Life
It was 1966 and I was 18 years old. I had just graduated from high school, and at the end of the summer I packed up my belongings, left home in Toronto, and moved to Ottawa to attend Carleton University. I was a Baby Boomer growing up. I remember my years at Carleton very clearly. I liked all my courses, but my passion was in the growing antiwar movement.
I set up the Committee to End the War in Vietnam on campus, and we were a high-profile group. We had literature tables in the tunnel junction and held speak-outs, where someone would get up on a soapbox and talk about the war and how unjust it was. We attracted crowds. I was entering a whole new stage of life. I was enthusiastic and filled with optimism. My life opened up before me.
Fast forward to 2026….
The Baby Boomers are now in their 60s, 70s and early 80s. Sixty years have passed, and I have had a very full and rewarding career and life. I am now in my late 70s. I have been conscious of my own aging process for the last 30 years, including my midlife transition, as well as retirement from the public sector.
I am still in good health, but I have some arthritis and have had a hip replacement. I no longer jog and now use walking poles when I am out for a walk. Although I notice my energy level has decreased, there are many things I appreciate about this stage of life. I now have the time and ability to reflect back on my life journey, feel grateful, and reap the rewards of a life well lived.
I am not just growing older; I am becoming a conscious Elder. I have been blessed with life experiences, and with the wisdom to treasure those experiences and distill their lessons. I have no need to argue with others. I no longer feel driven by ambition or the need for approval. I notice that I am becoming calmer, with a still presence within me.
The world is fast-paced and chaotic these days, and it can be a challenge to sit back and reflect on where you are in your life journey.
In our culture, we have general demarcations for aging: childhood, teenage years, adulthood, midlife, retirement, and old age. We are also immersed in both denial and resistance when it comes to getting older. These feelings can block your ability to look at your life. We are surrounded by messages that aging—especially in your 70s and 80s—is “all downhill from here.”
Aging does not mean declining. It means evolving. Elderhood is a stage of development that is consciously chosen and lived.
In some cultures, there are clearer distinctions in the aging process. For example, in the Hindu tradition, life unfolds through four stages: student, householder, forest-dweller, and renunciant. The first two stages—student and householder—are about building a life. Key goals in these stages are achievement, responsibility, and identity.
The forest-dweller stage signals the early emergence of Elderhood. In this stage, you may become a mentor or guide. You begin to distill meaning from your life. From this stage, you move toward becoming a fully realized Elder. At this stage, you may experience clarity, presence, and equanimity.
It is very helpful to notice what stage of life you are in right now. This recognition helps to ground you and gives you a solid foundation.
As you reflect on your current stage of life, here are some questions to consider:
Do you resist the stage of life you are in, or try to deny it?
To what extent do you embrace and appreciate your current stage of life?
We are all aging, whether we accept it or not. It is very helpful to both acknowledge and appreciate the stage of life you are in right now.
There is great benefit in bringing your current stage of life into focus. You may find yourself feeling more grounded. You may become more aware of the journey you have taken so far, the benefits of your current stage, and more optimistic about the future.
I wish you all the best as you reflect on these questions. I would be very happy to hear your stories and your feedback.
Warmest wishes,
Brenda